What I have started to realise, is that if you ask (the universe / God / your inner aligned self) for something, it does not manifest immediately and sometimes, it is not in the form you’d hoped. Rather, you get put into situations where you are molded (sometimes bashed severely) and prepared for what you have asked for.
Let me explain. I want to become less inhibited by the opinions of others, to have a more of a, don’t give a flying f**k kinda attitude. So I find I am being put into situations where I am forced out of my old self zone (Rae Sremmurd voice). Events are occurring where there is space for growth, where I can learn.
Perhaps these opportunities were always there, but I am now more receptive to expanding into it, no longer ignoring it or shrinking away, thinking its magnitude was too much for me to handle. I am now facing it head on (more of the time, not all yet lol) but I’m not aiming for perfection but continual growth and improvement.
I’m enjoying doing things to push myself (sometimes, not so much!). The other day, someone I knew said something about me that, initially hurt deeply and my first reaction (lasted about 5 days) was to try and prove them wrong, explaining my life away, trying to show them that they had got it all wrong, got me all wrong because I knew that that wasn’t my truth.
Then it dawned on me, (after some cringy moments – all part of growing up I guess) who cares? I know my truth and that is all that really matters. So although the lesson was a (semi) painful one, it taught me that my opinion of myself is the only thing that matters, what I think about myself, is of the most importance and have to stand in my truth.
After talking at length to my nearest and dearest (love y’all), I regained my composure (#AleshaDixon), let go of what was said and moved on.